song of the moment

Speak plain he said
But didn’t see
He acted that way
And held me like a cup
Fill me up then pour me out
Therein lies the doubt.
We had the same feelings
At opposite times.

When a good man and a good woman
Can’t find the good in each other
Then a good man and a good woman
Will bring out the worst in the other
The bad in each other

But what and how
To find us now
When we’ve become two
Fluorescently blue
Down the neon river
The sadness canoes
Either without or with her

When a good man and a good woman
Can’t find the good in each other
Then a good man and a good woman
Will bring out the worst in the other
When a good man and that good woman
Can’t find the good in each other
Then a good man and a good woman
Will bring out the worst in the other
The bad in each other.

(The Bad In Each Other by Feist)

Time Mace Memorial Cup

This year the bug is participating in her first speed skydiving competition, the Time Mace Memorial Cup in Leutkirch, Germany. While a new world record was set yesterday (unbelievalbe 557,57km/h !!! ) the bug is bobbing around at a miserable average of just above 200km/h. Oh well, it’s fun nonethelss. Awesome people, awesome vibe, despite the miserable weather. It’s nice to be able to compete with the best of the world, get their advise and learn from them.

You can follow the results here:

http://www.speed-skydiving.com/index.php/live-results-menu/results-2015/224-results-leutkirch-2015

Misunderstandings

Do you know this feeling, when every word you say gets you deeper into trouble. Whatever you do and say, it only adds to the misunderstanding. You try to explain and you feel like an idiot while you attempt to shed light on the entire damn affair. It doesn’t help. You feel how everythings’s slipping through your fingers and the attempt to hold on just makes it worse. You want to scream and shout. Loud. You realize what it must look like. And although you are just trying to sort things out, that’s the actual mistake. This terrible helpless feeling. You know you have to shut up and there is no chance right now to turn the wheel around. Frickin’ hard.

Feet and wings

I think I found my feet. I see them, I feel them, I love the path they walk with me. I won’t call 2014 the year of changes because every time I called a year this, it went pear shaped.
So I’ll just put a smile on my face and watch it all unfold. Knowing my life, it’s not going to be a boring year. Things are going right at work, believe it or not! The rest will fall into place too.. and there is someone new in my life. I don’t want to say more right now. It’s far too early. I might jinx it.
Right now I can’t wait for the new skydiving season to start. We have big plans at the club. In May we’re hosting the 2nd ISSA World Series event. On the more private jump side it’s the Atmonauti smoke project. Watch the skies.
Life, bring it on! This is going to be fun!

Life won’t break me

So this was it. 2013 is over. I had good moments. I had fun. I had light and there was darkness. Great jumps. One scary jump. Fights and friends lost. Friends who changed. Weddings. A suicide and funeral. Tears. Bitter dark cold moments. Changes at work. A new boss. The same old apartment. Someone I thought of as a friend in jail for child abuse. Scary shit, when you think you know a person. Sick people out there. Accidents, blood and first aid. Pain. A friendship growing deeper. Sunny Sa. Family. Parents who care. Brothers who love. Winter sun and summer rain. Pub nights more often than not. Loneliness. Despair. Snowboarding. Smiles. The pink skyvan and Klatovy. The best team ever on this planet.. or rather above it.
Best of all, someone has returned to me. Not fully, not completely. But he’s there and I feel more connected again. Hope is such a stupid, naive, innocent, futile thing. It makes me lose connection to the moment. But still, it’s there. I follow my heart. Even after all this time. It’s good to be friends now.

Not sure what I want in 2014. A little less hurt would be nice.